


With Me As Always

by bat_country



Series: KSYSK [2]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Thanks Kiefer Sutherland you are an inspiration to us all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 12:14:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14284707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bat_country/pseuds/bat_country
Summary: A stand-alone story of the Pacific Rim AU where (mostly) everything is the same except that every Tuesday and Thursday, a new episode of the podcast “K-Science You Should Know,” often abbreviated KSYSK, is released (until one day it stops)."How many people would a kaiju have to eat daily to sustain itself? What’s the deal with the Pons technology patent controversy? Join Newt and Hermann as they explore the K-Science You Should Know about everything from Kaiju Blue to what’s in the Breach in this podcast from the PPDC.”All right, did you guysreallyneed another post-Uprising Hermann-saving-Newt fix-it fic where they declare their love for each other? NO, but here is one set in a really weird AU anyway.





	With Me As Always

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pikalex88](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikalex88/gifts), [unfamiliargroundsquirrel (Moonfoot)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonfoot/gifts).



> This is a fic swap with pikalex88, whose fic stemming from this collaborative effort can be found [HERE!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14196297) As stated in the notes of that fic, the concepts explored here are things we came up with together. Many other things also came from shouting about Newt and Hermann with unfamiliargroundsquirrel.
> 
> In my weird little AU, the "K-Science You Should Know" podcast operates very similarly to the podcast that inspired it - Stuff You Should Know. (I can't properly express to you how much I adore it. KSYSK is a homage born out of LOVE, pure LOVE, you guys.) Much like for SYSK, Hermann and Newt plan each episode's topic and study up by themselves, but do not discuss the material or script anything ahead of time. 
> 
> And guess how self-indulgent this fic really is: [good grief there's an accompanying playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/irisfbaldwin/playlist/08rnBzBN9WeEoGfQwLH848?si=0U8tls7PSLqkDWcZBOp3wQ) (had to include my all time top PRU-related Newt/Hermann song ever, which is the Slash & Adam Levine one, YES AND IT SAYS "PACIFIC RIM" IN IT)

Hermann rushed into the medical bay, and shook the doctor’s hand. “I’m Acting Marshal Hermann Gottlieb. What’s the news?”

 

Hermann looked at Newt, who was lying peacefully in a bed. The poor man had, in recent weeks, looked like he really needed a good night’s sleep, but now that he was sedated, Hermann just wanted him to wake up.

 

A subsidiary of Shao Industries was providing the absolute best in medical care for Newton Geiszler, under the authority of Liwen Shao, who claimed to “feel partly responsible” for what had happened.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hermann Gottlieb had told her.

 

“If I had kept a better eye on my systems…”

 

“You can’t blame yourself. How could you have known?” Hermann said. Then, with the smallest of smiles in the corner of his mouth, he added, “He _was_ a sneaky bastard about it.” Hermann did wonder whether the cleverness of how the drone override plans had been hidden had come from Newton. Of course… the _plan itself_ … no, of course that came from the Precursors, Newton was _a good man._ The Precursors had taken control of a good man… but one who was indeed very clever.

 

The doctor told Hermann, “Brain imaging from Dr. Geiszler reveals neural activity strikingly similar to that of an actively connected, actively drifting jaeger pilot, even though he isn’t actively connected to any Pons system, obviously. Even while sedated. We’ve determined a way to visualize the Precursor’s presence in his brain, at least. It’s a start, Dr. Gottlieb.”

 

* * *

 

**_“How Brain-Computer Interfaces Inspired Drift Technology”_ **

 

 **HERMANN:** “Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I’m Hermann Gottlieb. With me as always is Newton W. ‘Newt’ Geiszler, and that makes this ‘K-Science You Should Know.’”

 

 **NEWT:** “First, before we jump into today’s topic, a word to our friends out there in Hawaii. Our hearts go out to you guys, to everyone who has been affected by the recent Ceramander attack.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Thank you, Newton. We wish to acknowledge this terrible attack that could have been so much worse, were it not for the teams piloting Coyote Tango and Striker Eureka, and everyone on the sidelines lending their support. Of course, we’ll be receiving specimen samples soon, and I’m sure that Newton can’t wait to get his hands on those. Anything we learn from them — as soon as that information is declassified, you’ll hear it here first, folks.”

 

 **NEWT:** “They’ll hear it on the news before they hear it from a ridiculous podcast that gets recorded sometimes weeks in advance, Hermann.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “I will _not_ stand for either of us being self-deprecating of this podcast. It’s our baby, and you know it.”

 

 **NEWT:** “You’re just cranky because we have to record extra today.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Incredibly, we could have managed to stay on target with our recording schedule even _with_ the kaiju attack, but for the fact that _someone_ broke his arm and set us back a week.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Hermann, it’s for reasons exactly like these that we _do_ record in advance and keep weeks’ worth of episodes in the kitty.”

 

[pause]

 

 **HERMANN:** “That ‘someone’ was not me. Please do not flood our podcast inbox with well wishes for Newton; he does not deserve them, as it was his own stupidity that caused him to break his arm. Well, that said, we should probably get started with today’s topic. A little history lesson, maybe?”

 

 **NEWT:** “Right. I think a good place to start is around the late 2010s… right around when the kaiju attacks were first happening, we had begun making some real advances in brain-computer interface technology —”

 

 **HERMANN:** “BCI for short.”

 

 **NEWT:** “People had been working on this stuff for a long time — primarily in the 1970s — but around the first kaiju attacks was when we started using chips or electrodes implanted into a patient’s brain to translate neural activity into movements.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Yes, at _that_ time, people were trying to use it to help those who were paralyzed gain some independent mobility. But it was really the Trespasser attack that suddenly kicked this field into high gear.”

 

 **NEWT:** “What are some of the advantages of having a two-pilot system, Hermann?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Well, other than to help share the neural load, you mean? There is also the matter of two brains helping for margin of error. When the controls inside of the Conn-Pod receive signals from two brains, instead of one, it’s a lot more accurate and the computer can more easily separate the noise from real signal.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Then at what point would _too many_ brains be too many?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “I suppose that’s up to human error, Newton. At whatever number the people just couldn’t properly coordinate when to punch and when to walk, I’d surmise.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Two seems to be the magic number, huh, Herms?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Well, let’s not be remiss in acknowledging —”

 

 **NEWT:** “Oh I know, the three-pilot jaeger that’s serving the PPDC —”

 

 **HERMANN:** “ — and you and I both know that —”

 

 **NEWT:** “— we’re pretty darn good at finishing each other’s —”

 

 **HERMANN:** “— presentations at group meeting.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Sandwiches, Hermann. The line is ‘finishing each other’s sandwiches.’”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Yes, I realize, and I still resent you taking over and barging in on the last few of my slides at group meeting last week.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Sometimes I’m just better at giving the elevator pitch version to the rest of the higher-ups, you know. The non-scientists. We make it work. I just meant you and I are a pretty solid team.”

 

* * *

 

Hermann tried again. “Newton, it’s me. It’s Hermann. Do you remember when you broke your arm? It was during the Ceramander attack. You pushed our podcast recording schedule a whole _week_ because you slipped on the table, fell on the ground in an enormous spectacle in the dining hall, ruined one of the rangers’ lunches, and then made _me_ do some of your dissection work while your arm was healing. Do you remember why you slipped? You were trying to get a better look at the television playing the news report. You wanted to see the kaiju. Goodness, it may have been the first time I called you a ‘kaiju groupie.’ Anyway, as I was saying, it slowed down your entire work schedule, _and_ our podcast, and all because you are an excitable, passionate man, and I know you know this about yourself.”

 

Newt’s face shook, and a small gasp escaped him. The Precursors had clamped down their grip on him, and were no longer letting him speak. Hermann could tell that Newt wanted to say something, but wasn’t being allowed, and the pain in Newt’s eyes was as clear as anything to Hermann.

 

“Yes, I know, Newt, I know,” Hermann soothed gently as he patted Newt’s knee. “It sounds like a Pokémon.”

 

Newt became visibly relieved, and he let out a sigh.

 

Hermann smiled at Newt. “I still know how to finish your sentences, Newt.”

 

* * *

 

Hermann sometimes feared that, as acting marshal of the Moyulan Shatterdome, he would come under fire for wasting resources. The Shatterdome had lost a lot of its personnel during the drone attack, and there was still much rebuilding to be done. But, despite these worries plaguing him, Hermann carried on, allocating staff and resources as best he saw fit, while still dedicating as many people as he could to helping Newt. Oftentimes, a few others would sit in with him as he spoke to Newt, whether it was a technician or doctor to monitor Newt’s brain activity, or one of the rangers or cadets, simply for moral support.

 

Most days, there was silence. Although Newt’s eyes were sharp and clear, and he frequently made eye contact with Hermann and the others who were working with him to help bring the real Newton Geiszler back, he rarely spoke. There was a stretch of three days when Newt was fully responsive, ate when he was given food, slept at night, and occasionally nodded when spoken to, but otherwise remained completely silent.

 

And then when Newt finally spoke, it was not even truly Newt.

 

“Your world is one of the richest in life we’ve ever encountered, with such interesting creatures… so let us use one of them to put this in terms you might be able to understand. You are not challenges. You are not obstacles. You are _nuisances_ … like ants at a picnic. Bothersome, yes, but sooner or later, we _will_ get around to stepping on all of you.”

 

The head ant was highly offended.

 

* * *

 

Hermann didn’t know if it was out of some sort of determination to take over and colonize the earth no matter what, or if it was simply spite and anger at having been bested twice, but whatever the reason, these Precursors were not willing to let go of Newt, their last remaining link to this planet. It also seemed to Hermann that the beings that had seized control of Newt’s body were either attempting to patiently wait for the other humans to give up on Newt, or, failing that, convince them that there was nothing left to save.

 

“Hello, Newton. It’s Hermann, again.”

 

“Hermann, Newton’s not here. The man that you loved, the one you knew. He doesn’t exist anymore.”

 

“No,” Hermann said stubbornly, more to himself than to the beings that controlled Newt. “He spoke to me. He told me he was sorry. He said ‘They’re in my head.’ That was him.”

 

Hermann suddenly steeled himself and made a decision. He had believed strongly that, to help Newt separate himself from the hive mind of the Anteverse, he needed to speak directly to Newt, and remind him of his individuality. He had to help Newt separate himself from that hive mind. But at that moment, Hermann couldn’t stop himself from addressing the Precursors directly.

 

“No. Newt is in there, fighting. Newt was willing to die if it meant helping to save the world, help close the breach ten years ago. _Several_ times, in fact. He could have been killed so many times. Newt is a good man, a _brave_ man, who was willing to put civilization, and the people he loves, before himself. You, with your hive mind, will likely never understand, but Newt knew the difference between dying for nothing, and dying for something. What it means to give yourself up for something. _To give up yourself_ knowing there’s no hive to fall back into. I _know_ that is why he’s still in there. That is why he’s still fighting, so that he will _not_ die for nothing.”

 

For several moments, there was silence again. And then finally, Newt spoke.

 

"You called me a good man that day. I was trapped inside my mind and couldn't answer you, but I heard you. You called me a good man. And I want to believe that that's true... and a good man does not cause the deaths of so many. You let me go, and I… a lot of people died after that. You should have let her shoot me, Hermann. That day, I could have died for _something_."

 

Hermann held Newt’s gaze, and felt Newt’s pain and guilt. He wondered if he should be feeling more guilt himself, for all those people who had died because he’d chosen to save the man he loved. But no matter how guilty or angry he felt, he refused to let Newt see any of it, knowing he had to be strong for the both of them. So Hermann simply told him firmly, “I’m sorry, Newton. But I just wasn’t ready to let you go.”

 

* * *

 

Several PPDC officers were usually on hand to assist Hermann when he went to work with Newt. Jake Pentecost, in particular, seemed to have made it a personal mission to do whatever he could to help, and tore himself into Newt’s files to pull together his biographical information and anything else familiar that Newt might respond to.

 

Hermann felt that Jake’s approach was a little bit like treating Newton like a head trauma victim, but let him try nonetheless. He watched Jake talking to Newt, and leaned back beside Nate Lambert against the wall of the holding room that Newt was in whenever he was not in the medical bay. Jake tried relentlessly, “Do you remember your name? Where you are? Do you remember how you got here? How about the school you graduated from?”

 

 _Which school?_ , Hermann thought to himself. The boarding school he got kicked out of for running away, thus, effectively getting what he wanted in the first place? The one where he got his undergraduate degree in between various punk bands he formed with his friends? Or… how about the one where they met for the first time?

 

Jake was reading off of a tablet where he’d compiled several notes from Newt’s files. “You were born in 1990, and in 2015 —”

 

“ _Stop this_ ,” said an almost demonic voice from the body of Newton Geiszler.

 

Jake pressed on, speaking louder to drown out the angry beings that were speaking from Newt. “And in 2015, you finished your degrees at MIT, Dr. Geiszler. You taught there for _many_ semesters. You gave a series of seminars at UCLA during the summer of —”

 

“STOP!” came an angry roar from Newt.

 

Stunned into silence, Jake glanced at Hermann, who calmly stepped forward and took the empty chair in front of his former labmate. In stark contrast to the shouting that had come just moments before, Hermann said in almost a whisper, “Do you know what January 19 is? It’s your birthday, Newton. Your birthday.”

 

Newt’s heavy breathing filled the room, and Hermann smiled at him with encouragement. “The first time we celebrated your birthday together — my God, you were driving me to near insanity that week. You deliberately provoked me in the lab, you undermined me in front of the rest of the Shatterdome staff, you intentionally spilled PBS buffer onto my side of the lab. I hated you, Newton, and the _last_ thing I wanted to do was go out and celebrate your _birthday_ with all those other people. But... I did, and you insisted on karaoke, and do you know what I thought?”

 

Newt did not respond, but Hermann could have sworn he saw a spark of curiosity in his eyes. When the Precursors remained silent, and there was no further yelling, Hermann decided to keep going.

 

“You sang that old Van Halen song, ‘Why Can’t This Be Love,’ and you _shrieked_ those lyrics, and you looked _so happy_. And seeing you so happy... it was worth it, Newton. It was worth putting up with all that, to be able to see you having so much fun and being so happy.”

 

Hermann could have sworn there was a hint of a smile on Newt’s lips.

 

“Do you remember when we first met? I was there for a conference. You were giving your seminar series at UCLA in the evenings after spending all day at the conference. You were completely overworked, but I don’t think I knew that then. We’d been writing letters, and we decided to meet at the conference. We met in the cafe right by the convention hall where we proceeded to just have this… _stupid_ fight. You said a lot of annoying things, Newton. Frankly, I don’t even remember what we fought about, but I believe I said you were stupid, had stupid ideas, and your skinny tie was stupid, and then I said we’d never have lunch again, and then the next day you came right over and sat down across from me all over again.” Hermann grinned at the memory. “And started yapping away.”

 

“Do you remember that awful din you used to play when we worked together at the university? God, I wish I could play it again for you now. It's terrible. Your taste in music, terrible."

 

Jake piped up, “What was it?”

 

“It was Social Distortion,” answered Hermann.  

 

Newt’s face twitched into what could almost pass as an expression of surprise.

 

Hermann directed an icy glare at Newton. “Yes, that’s right, Newton, I remember the name. And I would appreciate if you refrained from calling me ‘Grandpa’ again. That was enough the first time, when you expressed your utter contempt for my lack of rock music knowledge and told me which band you were blasting. You always shouted out what you were listening to.”

 

Mako, who was feeling much better after her recovery from the Obsidian Fury battle (“Who did this before checking for a pulse?!” she’d demanded upon seeing her portrait on the memorial wall), was listening from the doorway. “Maybe one of you could find that,” she suggested.

 

Nate ran off to find a copy, and returned with a laptop. The holding room soon echoed with the sounds of southern Californian punk.

 

“Do you remember the first day that we ever officially shared lab space, and I yelled at you to stop blaring that atrocious music? Do you remember that it was _this_ song?” Hermann asked, waving his cane to the music.

 

“ _Good times come and good times go. I only wish the good times would last a little longer. I think about the good times we had..._ ”

 

Hermann nearly cried with joy when he saw the punk rock bringing a truly genuine smile to Newt’s face. He wondered if Newt was remembering that day too, the very first time they _officially_ shared a lab, though they had worked together before. 

 

"Dude, you wanna grab some food before we start working on those reports we have to turn in?" 

 

"I already did mine." 

 

Newt had grimaced at Hermann, and had said, "Boy, if we're going to be friends, dude, you're going to have to pick up some bad work habits." His face had then taken on a pensive look as he sat on Hermann's desk. "Or I'm going to have to pick up good ones. What a revolting idea." 

 

* * *

 

For nearly a week, it went on like this. Hermann believed with all his heart that the look he’d seen on Newt’s face when they played some of his favorite music was real, and he pressed on.

 

“Do you remember how we used to lay duct tape down the middle of our lab, and how we had to have the line actually painted on the floor the first day we arrived at the Hong Kong Shatterdome? By the time we got there we knew we needed something more permanent than the duct tape.”

 

Occasionally, Hermann would remember the names of bands that Newt shouted at him inside their shared workspace, but did not remember the names of Newt's favorite songs by those bands. "Come on, Hermann, you've never heard of Bad Religion?! Yeah, you have. You're killing me. I was just wearing one of their shirts last week when we recorded _Speculations About Kaiju Intelligence_." "Hermann, you can't just talk when a Slash solo is playing, shut up, dude." "Come on, Hermann! You don't know Misfits?! Ugh. You're serious? Listen to this. Come on, put that chalk down for a _second_ and listen to this." One of the rangers had to skip through a bunch of Misfits tracks for Hermann until he recognized the right one. "Ah, that's the one. Play that one for him." 

 

“Do you remember when you forced us to take a night off from working, and _coerced_ me into joining you for that awful monster movie? That one where the girl turns into some kind of a werewolf, or wolf-creature, but it looked more like a bear? At the time I wished I could prevent my hippocampus from forming memories of that movie, but…” Hermann stopped to laugh. “I suppose now I’m glad that I remember. I remember it. As soon as the lights came up, you turned to me and said, ‘That was _terrible_ , and I _loved it_.’ You took such joy in such simple little things sometimes, and I admired you for it, Newton.”

 

Other times, Hermann remembered the exact title of the song. Jake's eyebrows shot up when the stuffy, self-professed classical music lover Hermann Gottlieb requested by name "Sleep Now in the Fire" by Rage Against the Machine. Hermann glared at Jake disdainfully. "Don't act so shocked. He played it  _all the time_ , and they scream the name of the song approximately five dozen times in it." 

 

"All right, doc, all right." 

 

"I am exaggerating, but only slightly," Hermann groused. 

 

“Do you remember why you got that tattoo? It was the first kaiju you ever studied kaiju blue from. You waited and waited all night for the delivery, and lost even more sleep when the shipment got delayed, worrying about all the blood and tissue samples deteriorating. You couldn’t sleep, so _I_ couldn’t sleep. We both were sleep-deprived but after that you were elated when you finally had your first samples, and you learned everything you could from them.”

 

Sometimes, Newt responded with little nods, or scoffs, or laughter. Sometimes he even spoke. Once, he cried.

 

“ _Got on my dead man's suit and my smilin' skull ring_

_My lucky graveyard boots and a song to sing_

_I got a song to sing, it keeps me out of the cold_

_And I'll meet you further on up the road…_ ”

 

Hermann had made a request to Jake and Nate — whoever could find it first — to play for Newt Johnny Cash’s rendition of “Further On Up The Road.” (Nate won.)

 

Newt said plaintively to Hermann, looking into his eyes and ignoring everyone else in the room, “I still couldn’t really choose between them, but we fought about whether this version was better, or the Bruce Springsteen one, and you’re right, Hermann, this one is beautiful. And I might have… forgotten this song entirely, just had it completely disappear out of my brain, both versions, and the way I used to wear that skull ring, if you hadn’t remembered this and played it for me.”

 

“Come on, now, Newt, no need to do this,” Hermann said in an attempt to sound light-hearted, reaching out to touch Newt’s cheek and brush away his tear.

 

“But I think I might have forgotten. I could have lost this,” Newt said, and drew up a shaky sigh. “Oh, Hermann. I think they’ve poisoned my mind.”

 

“It’s all right, Newton. Some poisons have antidotes,” Hermann reassured him gently.

 

* * *

 

**_“Deadliest Toxins: Where Does Kaiju Blue Rank?”_ **

 

 **HERMANN:** “Hello, everyone. I’m Hermann Gottlieb. With me as always is Newton W. ‘Newt’ Geiszler, and we’d like to welcome you to ‘K-Science You Should Know.’”

 

 **NEWT:** “We’re here to talk about kaiju blue and how it ranks among some of earth’s deadliest toxins, and that is the _third_ time I’ve had to record that because I kept messing up.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Perhaps if you’d just gone to bed at a proper hour you wouldn’t have overslept and come running into the recording studio in a disheveled _mess_  —”

 

 **NEWT:** “It’s ‘fortune favors the brave,’ not ‘fortune favors the early riser,’ Hermann. Get off my case.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Oh, just get on with the show.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Okay, I will, and I honestly lost my actual list of rankings of deadliest toxins, but I’ll just do this off the top of my head. So we’ve got cyanide, we’ve got botulinum… and, let’s see, I’d say that of the compounds up for discussion today, we think a fairly good point of comparison to kaiju blue is sarin. That is because, like kaiju blue, it can be found in a liquid form, but can also be a nerve gas. We know that kaiju blue can have some similar health effects when inhaled. They both cause harmful effects when absorbed through the skin, too.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “ _However_ … it does seem from initial studies that sarin is much, much deadlier than kaiju blue. We can only imagine the kind of loss of life that would occur after a fallen kaiju has spilled some of its blood on a city if kaiju blue were as potent.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Well, thank goodness for that, huh?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “A real problem, though, is that we haven’t been able to conduct any long-term studies on the effects of kaiju blue. We don’t know exactly how carcinogenic it may be, for instance.”  

 

 **NEWT:** “We can talk about some of its immediate effects though. _And_ we’re studying antidotes for sarin and several other toxins in an effort to find ways to treat kaiju blue poisoning. I mentioned botulinum a little earlier, that’s one that’s been pretty helpful in my studies of kaiju blue. It’s a neurotoxin, like tetrodotoxin. Oh! Right, that’s another one on our list. TTX.”

 

 **HERMANN:** [sighs] “Just borrow my notes, Newton.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Thanks, Herm. Oh, you’ve got ricin on your list, too. At least I think you do. Your handwriting is terrible. Well, before we move onto that one, though, I’d like to mention here that some tests I’ve done might indicate that kaiju blue works by a similar mechanism as TTX, by blocking ion channels. But that’s not the only similarity that kaiju blue has with TTX. You know what animal has a ton of the stuff, Hermann? Pufferfish. And people _eat_ pufferfish!”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Right, it has to be _very_ carefully prepared. And yes, I believe what you’re getting at here is that some people have attempted the same methods of preparation for eating kaiju meat. Folks, I have forbidden Newt from doing this. You need not worry.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Where is your sense of adventure, Hermann?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Keeping yours safe, Newton.”

 

 **NEWT:** [scoffs]

 

 **HERMANN:** “Guess what some other animals can have TTX.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Uh… well, lots, like some other kinds of fish, and...”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Newts.”

 

 **NEWT:** [laughs] “Shut up, Hermann. Okay, so, well, since I mentioned that TTX is a channel blocker, we can’t talk about kaiju blue toxicity without talking about ion channels, right, Hermann? Your favorite.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Of all the things involving your disgusting kaiju entrails that you beg for my help with? It’s likely.”

 

 **NEWT:** “So much math! Also, I like your steady hand. Caffeine and patch clamp just don’t mix.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Yes. Electrophysiology is not the strongest of your disciplines.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Fair enough, but still fun to talk about on the show. How about another jump into history? It was the 1940s. These guys Cole and Marmont — they’re like, _my_ type of dudes, you know? They invented voltage clamping, which is used to measure ion currents in the membranes of excitable cells, and they did it by inserting electrodes into the axon of a giant squid! A giant axon of a giant squid!”

 

 **HERMANN:** “And you’re going to let me talk about the Hodgkin-Huxley mathematical model used for describing action potentials, aren’t you, Newton?”

 

 **NEWT:** “Totally. And that model was developed based on these experiments with voltage clamp on the squid axon. Back then, they didn’t have microelectrodes, they only had these big ones, so they could only do voltage clamp on these huge squid axons. It’s like us! Mathematical models and dissections, all coming together!”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Newton, our listeners can’t see all your hand gestures right now. Also, that’s _not_ how big a squid axon is.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Man, can you imagine if those dudes had seen a kaiju axon? They would have [beep] their pants!”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Why do you cause so much extra work for Tendo? You know he has to bleep all those out.”

 

* * *

 

"You know, Newton, a  _lot_ happened once we were stationed at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, and I don't simply mean the final push for the closing of the breach. I mean everything that led to that moment. I daresay we were closer than ever when we were in Hong Kong. We were constantly in each other's space, in each other's way. And I suppose even the people around us thought of us as a single unit. It's funny to me now that Herc Hansen once asked 'Are you and Dr. Geiszler available to watch Max?' He could have just asked me, I suppose, but that's the way he said it." Hermann watched Newt's face as he remembered that night. 

 

"I can't believe he ran off," Newt had said, with panic rising in his voice. He was holding an umbrella out for both himself and Hermann as the two of them ran around outside of the Hong Kong Shatterdome. 

 

"Max! MAX!" Newt screamed in his signature high-pitched voice. Hermann shook his head. Newt's screech was unlike any other person's.

 

Newt continued calling for Max as they reached the neighborhoods surrounding the Shatterdome facility. Newt held the umbrella as they ran, while Hermann had his cane in one hand, and a flashlight in the other.

 

Newt stopped in the middle of a street, reared back, and let loose a scream of " _Maaaaaaaaaaaxxxx!!!!_ " that Hermann felt in his bones.

 

Hermann was familiar enough with Cantonese to understand the various shouts of "Shut up!" "Quiet!" and "Go to sleep!" coming from the houses and apartments around them. 

 

So was Newt, who said in response, "Don't listen to the haters. You try." 

 

It was a ridiculous situation that the staid Hermann Gottlieb, who was happiest when indoors, working at his chalkboard, would never have expected to find himself in. But now that he was here... what was there to lose? He knocked his cane on the ground in emphasis and shouted, "MAX!"

 

"No, no,  _no_ , Hermann, you gotta reach down into your  _soul_ for a scream like this. Like you're in a punk band."

 

Hermann snorted with derision at the thought. 

 

"No, I'm serious! You know what it was like, Hermann? Being in a punk band? Let me tell you. Maybe it'll paint the picture for you. It was me, and a bunch of other idiots with no formal musical training who just  _really_ wanted to be in a band. We'd scream to hide the fact that we couldn't sing for shit, and we'd just strum the same damn chords over and over because the guitars couldn't handle much more than that anyway, most of them being secondhand, and mine was held together with duct tape, and somehow, it all still came together, because it was full of raw energy and emotion. Sometimes, to be in a punk band, all you needed was just think about something that pissed you off, and let 'er rip."

 

"Oh, easy for me. You're standing right here in front of me," Hermann said, but his tone was playful. 

 

"Hey, it was  _nobody's_ fault the dog ran off!" 

 

Hermann gave Newt a look, and then took an exaggeratedly large, deep breath. " _MAAAAAAAAAAAXXX!!!_ " 

 

Newt smiled with amazement at Hermann while further shouting came at them from the surrounding neighborhood. "We're going to make a punk rocker out of you yet, my man." 

 

Hermann managed a small grin back at Newt, but then shrugged from within his oversized parka. "Well, it's no use. The dog has disappeared." 

 

The two of them wandered the streets for a little longer, before Hermann broke the silence with, "So that was how it all got started, was it?" 

 

"Heh, yeah. That was how  _most_ punk bands got started. I mean, they all get better, and we got better too, but you had to have all that raw punk energy from the start, or else you'd never get anywhere. And we practiced, and practiced, and some nights, we actually sounded pretty decent." 

 

"Well, then, why did you stop?" 

 

"Seriously, Hermann? You know. Just... life. School. Work.  _Kaiju attacks_. You know. Shit like that." 

 

"It's just that you seemed to love it so much..." 

 

"Oh, sure, I  _did_ , and dude, that little tour you went on with us a few years ago was  _fun_ , but... I don't know, Hermann, I think the work that you and I are doing _now_  is important." Newt sighed sadly. "Man... do you think I'm growing up?" 

 

"There's no need to sound so upset about it, Newton. There is nothing wrong with social responsibility and dedication to good, hard work." 

 

Newt gave a small, humorless laugh. "I just don't want to lose myself, you know?" 

 

"I don't think you could ever  _truly_ lose yourself, Newton. Besides, you'll always have me." 

 

"Yeah... to get on my nerves." 

 

"Newton..." 

 

"Aw, Hermann, I was just —"

 

"Don't 'aw, Hermann,' me." 

 

"Come on, you know how I feel about you." 

 

Hermann didn't know what to say. It may have been the closest either of them ever came to admitting...  _something_ , anything. An uneasy silence fell between them as they continued to walk, and for awhile all they heard was the rain, their footsteps, and Hermann's cane on the sidewalk, until Hermann thumped Newt on the arm with his flashlight. "Over there!" he hissed. 

 

A young woman at the end of the street was reaching down to lead a bulldog towards what was presumably her house. "Hey!" shrieked Newt. Amidst the woman's confusion, Newt barreled over, grabbed the dog, and ran back towards Hermann. "Go, go, Hermann!" 

 

Cold, wet, and hungry, but satisfied by their crisis being averted, the three of them returned to the Shatterdome just in time for breakfast, and headed straight to the dining hall, only to find Chuck Hansen there enjoying a hearty meal and sharing it with Max.

 

"Thanks for watching Max, guys," he said, spotting the two scientists. His gaze lowered to the dog Newt was holding in his arms, and then Chuck said with bewilderment, "Where'd  _that_ one come from?" 

 

Newt turned to stare at Hermann. "You're the math guy.  _You_ calculate the odds of finding another bulldog in the middle of the night in Hong Kong while we were on Max duty!" He let out a mid-level shriek. "Augh! What do we do now?" 

 

"Return him, of course!" 

 

"Aw, that lady is going to kill us!" Newt protested. 

 

"Well, we aren't just going to  _not_ return him!" Hermann exclaimed, taking a seat next to Chuck so he could stab his cane at Newt's face. 

 

"Yeah. Maybe we'll just get bawled out." Newt's expression was almost unreadable behind his rain-splattered glasses, but Hermann could have sworn Newt was being sincere about what he'd just said. 

 

Chuck watched the whole exchange with a great deal of amusement, and offered a piece of toast to the dog in Newt's arms, who accepted it graciously. 

 

It was among Hermann's fondest memories of their time spent together at the Hong Kong Shatterdome. Hermann sat in front of his former lab mate in the holding room, reached out, and touched Newt's hand as he recalled another of his most important memories from that period of their lives. 

 

“Do you remember, Newton, when the breach was closed, and the celebration first broke out at the Shatterdome, in Hong Kong? You looked at me, you hugged me. And I was so proud of you and how you'd helped save the world.”

 

* * *

 

**_“SPECIAL EPISODE: HOW THE BREACH WAS WON!”_ **

 

 **HERMANN:** “Hello, everyone! I’m Hermann Gottlieb. With me as always is Newton W. ‘Newt’ Geiszler, and welcome to a _very_ special episode of ‘K-Science You Should Know.’”

 

 **NEWT:** “WE CLOSED THE BREACH!”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Maybe Tendo could edit in some applause and cheering sound effects here.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Yeah, maybe he will!"

 

[silence]

 

 **NEWT:**  "All right, should we get right to it? Are we going to talk about how we were heroes, and totally saved the world?!”

 

* * *

 

Jake Pentecost and Nate Lambert had just finished a drift simulation sequence as volunteers to have their brain activity scanned and imaged as a point of comparison to Newt’s.

 

“Thank you, both, again,” Hermann said, taking a seat in the office after the simulation was completed.

 

It was a new, but not unwelcome, feeling for Hermann. He was immensely grateful for the support he was receiving from so many people, and yet, there was still such a hole in his life. The one person he confided in, shared meals with, fought with… that man was still lost to him. All those around him lending their support and encouragement would never fill the gap that Newt had left.

 

He sighed again heavily, hunched down in his chair, and then slammed his cane onto the ground. “God, that _stupid_ man…” Tears sprang into his eyes and he willed them not to fall as a flash of anger overcame him, wondering just what _could have been_ if Newt had never again drifted with the kaiju brain after they closed the breach.

 

The anger swelled inside Hermann as he exclaimed, “If only he just weren’t so _stupid_ and had never _done_ this! Scientific curiosity be damned… I don’t know if he just thought he had something to _prove_ or if he just wanted to be the first to do a thing — by _Jove_ , if only he’d never watched that stupid Kiefer Sutherland movie and thought that this is how _real science_ is carried out, by _destroying your own body_ …! If it was all just for the sake of personal ambition, then I...”

 

Jake laid a hand on Hermann’s shoulder in comfort. A thoughtful expression crossed his face as he carefully considered his next words. “Don’t blame Kiefer Sutherland,” he said.

 

Hermann gave Jake’s hand an appreciative pat and said with a mirthless laugh, “Oh, I know. Newt’s been like this long before he ever saw _Flatliners_.” Hermann adjusted his grip on his cane and looked up at Jake and Nate. “Do you know he actually admired Jan Purkinje?”

 

“What now? Was that like, one of the other flatliners?” Jake said.

 

“I don’t think so,” said Nate with a puzzled expression.

 

“Let’s see, it was Julia Roberts, one of those Baldwins — I forget how many there are — and the Bacon Man...”

 

“Oh, no,” Hermann said with a chuckle. “No, he was this monk back in the 1800s or so, who became a physician and experimented heavily on himself to test recommended dosages. Well, among other things. He experimented with all _sorts_ of substances, such as digitalis, and turpentine, and atropine… gave himself nausea and headaches by experimenting with nutmeg, too. People found out he’d do nearly anything in the name of science and I believe it was one of his instructors who asked him to try various extracts of ipecac and describe his reactions.”

 

“Wait, seriously?! Isn’t that the stuff that makes you throw up?” Jake said, making a horrified face.

 

“It is. He took so much of it that he supposedly got a vomiting reaction to any similar-looking brown powder after that experiment.”

 

“Honestly, from what I’ve heard about Dr. Geiszler, that sounds like the sort of thing he’d find hilarious,” Jake said. Nate nodded in agreement.

 

“While that may be true,” Hermann said with a wry smile, “he was actually quite respected, as wild as his actions sound. He achieved an incredible amount for medicine and we learned much about drugs and drug interactions thanks to him. He certainly accomplished much. I suppose it really does fit with the way Newt saw — sees, I mean — scientific achievement and advancement, throwing yourself right into it.”

 

Hermann attempted to discreetly flick away a tear. “At any rate, he does _not_ need me putting any sort of blame his way. I — I should never have let myself get that angry at him… even if he wasn’t here to see it. He’s punished himself enough. I know it. He only needs support from me. Nothing but love.”

 

Jake shrugged almost helplessly. “Well, you shouldn’t have to hold all that in to yourself, doc.”

 

Hermann suddenly smiled. “You know what we should play for him tomorrow?”

 

“What’s that?” Jake asked.

 

“‘I Hate Myself For Loving You.’”

 

Nate studiously began to type this into his tablet, but Jake laughed. “Yeah, I think he’ll wake right up, give the Precursors a kick, and say to you, ‘Hey, they’re playing our song!’”

 

* * *

 

**_“The Creation of Jaegers and Made-to-Order Kaiju: An Even More Modern Prometheus”_ **

 

 **HERMANN:** “Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I’m Hermann Gottlieb. With me as always is Newton W. ‘Newt’ Geiszler. That makes this ‘K-Science You Should Know.’”

 

 **NEWT:** “It is a beautiful day, and I’m wearing my Soundgarden shirt, and Hermann’s in his thing that professors wear, with the patches on the elbows.”

 

 **HERMANN:** [sighs] “Is that what you were blaring in the lab before we came in here to record?”

 

 **NEWT:** “You know it. Smokestack Lightning by Soundgarden, which, incidentally —”

 

 **HERMANN:** “No.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Yes! Our new jaeger name! And we _know_ we're drift compatible, so we could  _totally_ pilot our jaeger named Smokestack Light—”

 

 **HERMANN:** “I’m going to just address that with a dismissive eye roll, and move on to our topic of choice for today. Let’s start by saying we’re going to talk about one of the declassified portions of my podcast partner’s drift with a kaiju brain — the way that the kaiju are _grown_. Essentially, _made_ by the Precursors. And surely it’ll come as the greatest of surprises to our listeners that it was me, not Newton, who suggested this episode’s topic.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Uh… why do you say that?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Prometheus? A trickster figure, who went against the wishes of Zeus to steal fire and give it to humanity? Questing for scientific knowledge at the risk of great or unintended consequences? Like in _Frankenstein_ , which also drew upon the themes of the Prometheus myth? Why, if that doesn’t have ‘Newton Geiszler’ written all over it…”

 

 **NEWT:** “I cannot stop blushing. My actions did, after all, oh, _save the world_. Also, I _might_ add that I have never challenged authority without the greater good in mind.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “You ‘challenged authority’ just yesterday when you were asked not to take extra cake for yourself at the mess hall, and did it anyway!”

 

* * *

 

As Hermann left another session with Newt, he recalled the last day Newt was at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, and remembered the whirlwind he’d been as he returned to pick up some belongings.

 

Hermann had glanced at the other side of the K-Science lab after Newt left, which was mostly empty then except for a few items Newt could not fit into his luggage and intended to come back for later.

 

That day, Hermann sighed and threw his cane onto his desk as he sat down. “What a world. You think you know a man, and poof! He turns into a corporate drone. Boom. It’s over.”

 

“Just give him some time,” Raleigh had soothed.

 

But time did nothing to bridge the gap that had formed between Hermann and Newt, and the more time passed, the larger it became. After Newt left for Shao Industries, the two of them began recording K-Science You Should Know from different places, sometimes from different countries and different time zones, and recordings became more and more sporadic throughout the years.

 

* * *

 

**_“Fermi Problems, The Drake Equation, and The Anteverse”_ **

 

 **HERMANN:** “Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I’m Hermann Gottlieb. With me as always — at least in spirit — is Newton W. ‘Newt’ Geiszler, and that makes this ‘K-Science You Should Know.’”

 

 **NEWT:** “Is this a typo? Did you mean to write ‘Fermi’s paradox’?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “No, we’re going to talk about Fermi’s paradox _and_ Fermi problems.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Oh. I guess it’s weird not passing actual handwritten notes back and forth. I don’t know why I thought it was a typo. Guess I’m still not used to recording separately, Hermann.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “That’s right… thanks to our amazing producer Tendo, you listeners likely won’t be able to tell the difference, but Newton and I aren’t even in the same room anymore.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Before he hit that 'record' button, Tendo told us he was going to keep the sound quality here top-notch. Anyway. I can’t believe that I have to describe today’s outfit not just for our listeners, but also for Hermann. I’m wearing a Social Distortion shirt, and Hermann… what are you wearing, Hermann?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “A plaid button-up, sweater vest, and bow tie.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Okay, why didn’t I just say, ‘I’m wearing my Social Distortion shirt, and Hermann is dressed like a grandpa today’? Would’ve saved us an extra few seconds.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Newton…”

 

 **NEWT:** [stage whisper] “Hey, Hermann. Social Distortion. New jaeger name.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Moving _right_ past that, let me ask you this: just because one alien civilization has reached us and was stopped… this doesn’t preclude the possibility of any _others_ coming our way, does it?”

 

 **NEWT:** “Yeah… the possibility of other worlds, other alien civilizations _besides_ the Precursors. Whether or not they’re even out there? Yeah, that’s a tricky one... and something we as a people have always been interested in. You know, up until the early 2010s, before Trespasser, we could only speculate. And still, even today, after contact with the Precursors, we _still_ can’t really do much besides speculate, when it comes to these _others_. That’s why we’re going to delve into a little bit of the history of stuff like SETI, and — yeah, like we were saying before, Fermi’s paradox.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “One of these things we’re going to talk about today in relation to alien life is the Drake equation, a probabilistic formula, which is used to ‘predict’ or estimate the number of technologically advanced, communicative alien civilizations that may be out there.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Yep, made by Dr. Frank Drake, in the 1960s. See, we’ve been interested in this stuff for a _long_ time.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “We do refer to it as an equation, but it’s actually more of a thought experiment, presented in equation form. And it’s carried out by multiplying a whole lot of probabilities —but, you see, the thing is, if _any one_ of those probabilities is zero, then your end result will, of course, be zero. And that is what we believed might have been the case, before any kaiju ever appeared. We now have a little bit more of a picture to work with... but not too much more. Reaching us through a breach isn’t exactly space travel as we traditionally thought of.”

 

 **NEWT:** [clears throat] “These beings… these Precursors. I once said that they’re colonizers. I — I think that’s all I need to say for you to infer that there _are_ … others out there. Other places and planets that they colonized. I know I haven’t talked about my experience with the kaiju brain drift on the podcast much… and everything that’s been released to the media and news outlets, well, that’s probably about as much as I’ll reveal. But… hey. Let’s change the subject. Have we ever talked about the Wow Signal on our show before, Herms?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “I think so, but why don’t we go over it again?”

 

* * *

 

Newt had been speaking more and more to Hermann during their sessions together. It was two days after “Further On Up the Road” had been played for Newt when he seemed to almost burst through the Precursors’ hold on him. The two were alone, and Newt was in a panic.

 

“I can hear so many of them, Hermann, just _so many_. I hear the hive, and it wants me in it.”

 

“Newt, it’s all right.”

 

“There were so many others. It’s the others, too, those other beings not of their own species that they enslaved, and drew into their hive mind, the other alien worlds that they consumed, just either consumed or _took advantage of_ with their ability to control minds, and sometimes I hear those others crying out too, but most of them are _too lost_ within the hive, I can hear and even see them and see all their eyes, so frightened, I can see the eyes, they get pulled into the hive and their eyes look like the Precursors' eyes, and I see them, all the circles, and I can’t hear anything else, I don’t want to listen but I can’t hear anything else, just —”

 

“How about me?” Hermann said sharply, cutting off Newt.

 

Newt snapped his head up, shaken out of his rambling by Hermann’s interruption. “What?”

 

“Just focus on me.”

  
“What?”

 

“How about if you only focus on me?”

 

For a few short moments, Newt’s ragged breathing was all the two of them could hear. Hermann held Newt’s gaze steadily, and after about a minute, Newt’s breathing and his heartbeat began to slow.

 

“I did, Hermann.”

 

“Good, Newt. Good.”

 

“No, I mean…” Newt took a deep breath. “This whole time. I _did_ focus on you.”

 

“Newton, I —”

 

“You were all I had. Sometimes you were all I could think about. You were always there. It’s like you used to say all the time — with me, as always.”

 

“Oh, how funny. I don’t think I’d given that old podcast a thought in years,” Hermann said with a slight bit of surprise.

 

Newt looked dejected, and said, “I’ve never forgotten it, Hermann.”

 

“Good grief. Don’t be so dramatic, Newton, I hadn’t _forgotten_ it entirely. You know what I meant. It’s just that it’s been so long.”

 

“You were with me… as always.”

 

“Such unnecessary theatrics,” Hermann said, though he was unable to hide the fondness in his voice and the smile on his lips.

 

“And when you _finally_ found out the truth about what happened to me… that day, you remember that day, Hermann, God, I was so scared.”

 

“I never would have let anyone harm you. I made _sure_ to insist upon your innocence to everyone, I relayed it to the others as fast as I was able.”

 

“No, I… I was scared because… I was going to die,” Newt clarified.  

 

Hermann paused.

 

“I was doing all these things… knowing that if the plan… if it worked, that the world would end, and I would die.”

 

Hermann wrapped Newt in a fierce hug. “Oh, Newton. How could I have been so blind to that? I hadn’t even thought about that.”

 

“But, Hermann, that wasn’t all. When the Precursors had me put you in that chokehold…”

 

Hermann brushed this off instantly, waving his hand and saying, “No, Newt, don’t even apologize. It’s all right.”

 

“Hermann, I was _relieved_. It was in that moment that you knew what was happening to me, and I could finally be free. You are the smartest, most capable person I know… and if anybody was going to fix this, it was you, and when you held my hand… oh, Hermann, it was _not_ lost on me. I felt your comfort. I felt you there. I knew you were going to do it. You were going to rescue me, fix me, and save the world. It was the first time in years, the first time since I was forced to leave you, that I had _hope_.”

 

Newt, still in his restraints, leaned into Hermann’s hug, and laid his head on Hermann’s shoulder, and all the circles faded away. 

 

* * *

 

**_“The Future of Jaeger Tech”_ **

 

 **HERMANN:** “Hello, everyone. I’m Hermann Gottlieb. With me as always is Newton W. ‘Newt’ Geiszler.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Yo.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “It is with a heavy heart that I announce that this is our final episode of K-Science You Should Know.”

 

 **NEWT:** “So… yeah. This is it.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “We want to thank all of you fans out there who have supported us all throughout the years.”

 

 **NEWT:** “We’re going to leave you with a look towards the future of jaeger tech in today’s episode, and talk about several proposed plans for making the jaegers faster — there are a lot of really exciting things being tossed around these days — but, we didn’t want to just… put out a regular episode and leave you all with nothing after. So we decided to do a bit of a farewell at the end, too.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “We’ll wrap up some last bits of listener mail, go over some of our favorite old episodes, and… well, I suppose that’ll be that.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Maybe Tendo will even say a few words?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Perhaps he will.”

 

* * *

 

Hermann remained steadfast in his belief that the more he reminded Newt of his individuality, the weaker the hold the Precursors’ hive mind on Newt would be. On a rare day when the two of them were alone in the holding room, Hermann tried to remind him of this.

 

“The hive mind is a collective, Newton. Individuality is practically an impossible concept for them to grasp. But you… you are special, you _are_ an individual, and you _must_ remember that.” Hermann reminded himself that he had to stay strong, for the both of them, and did his best not to sound like he was pleading or begging. He gathered his resolve, and continued.

 

“So many little things make you _you_. There was the way that a lot of the rangers who worked around us at the Shatterdome thought of you as ‘that punk rock guy,’ and yes, I played a lot of Misfits and Joan Jett for you these past few weeks, and that one Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards song that you called your ‘anthem’... but nothing about you is so simple, Newt. They weren’t around you all the time. I heard you playing country music, I heard you playing jazz, and classic rock… You are so much more than ‘that loud biologist over at K-Science,’ and so much more than ‘that punk rock guy.’ You are so many things.”

 

“Man, Hermann, you can’t just go around telling people about that country stuff.”

 

Hermann was encouraged by the scornful look on Newt’s face — a look that was clearly _his own_  — and said, “I don’t think it was all that bad. Some of it was tolerable. Those Turnpike fellows weren't _entirely_ detestable.”

 

Newt hummed a few bars of one of his favorite songs in response, and Hermann waited for him to finish. 

 

“Should we talk about that day, again?” Hermann continued once Newt fell silent. “You turned on me, and the Precursors made you say that you were _not strong enough_. But you don’t need to be, Newton. You don’t need to fight against them and overpower them. You simply need to be _you_. You don’t need to pit your will up against that hive mind… you need to reject it altogether, and be _you_. An individual. A person. The man that I’m in love with.”

 

Newt, who was still being detained in the holding room but had been allowed out of his arm restraints for the last day or so, buried his face in his hands.

 

“I think…” Newt began slowly, almost timidly, “I think that even if we hadn’t drifted together… I guess I’d know that. All these… emotions and memories and the _fondness_ as you tell me each memory… the looks on your face, Hermann… the way you’ve proven to me over and over these last few weeks that you’ve really been listening to me all along, all these years, even when I'm just, like, shouting band names at you... Hermann, I... _I… am_ the man that you’re in love with.”

 

“Why, of course you are, Newton,” Hermann said with conviction.

 

Those last words appeared to have taken much of Newt’s remaining energy. He slumped back down in his chair, and Hermann gave him a few moments of silence before reaching into Newt’s memories again.

 

“Do you remember when you and I traveled to the Long Beach Shatterdome to meet with their science department, and one of your old colleagues was working there as a jaeger tech engineer? You exclaimed, ‘Dude, we’re getting the band back together!’ and even got that other third member of the band to join you — he went back to San Clemente or something like that, I think, but Newton… nobody really can resist your energy, can they? You convinced him to come, and somehow convinced _me_ to go _with_ you on your little tour. You had so many bands throughout the years, but most of them were before we met, so this was the only one I saw you playing in. It felt like… like I could know you even better, Newton. As though I could fully see these other parts of who you are, what makes you _you_. So, Newton, this band. You called yourselves Deathbed and the Champions, and you were so confused when we arrived at that bar to play your first show. The sign outside said ‘ _Deathbed and the Affordable Accommodations_.’ You thought that the venue had booked your band, plus a second band called The Affordable Accommodations.”

 

“Yeah, Hermann. I laughed at you real hard that day. After we figured out what happened, I mean. You were so mad at how you basically accidentally became our tour manager.”

 

“Yes, what I _actually_ said to the venue while making arrangements was, ‘The name of the band is Deathbed and the Champions, and also, we need affordable accommodations.’”

 

“Well, we got that cheap hotel!”

 

“We did,” Hermann agreed with a laugh, remembering that it was actually the first time he ever shared a room with Newton Geiszler. He laid his hand on Newt’s for a moment.

 

Newt laughed again, smirked at Hermann, and said, “I’d never heard of a band called The Affordable Accommodations before. Remember how I said, ‘Dude, they must be some local band’ and you were like, ‘I suppose you’d know better than me,’ and we both laughed so hard about it after?”

 

“I do remember,” Hermann grinned, trying not to make it so _obvious_ how elated he was at hearing _Newt_ share a memory, for once. It could be a major breakthrough; it could also be a fluke. Hermann cautioned himself against getting his hopes up, but reached out for Newt’s hand, seeing as how he seemed more responsive to touch that day.

 

“I _knew_ you would’ve quit as tour manager if you really wanted to, Hermann, but there you were. Even after all my snoring.”

 

“I wasn’t about to let you go off on your own! You three would have wandered around in a directionless frenzy, lost your instruments, or gone to the wrong venue.”

 

“Oh, _shut up_ , Hermann, stop it. We’re adults. We would’ve figured it out. Just admit you wanted to be there.”

 

“Newton… if all your other horrible idiosyncrasies didn’t already scare me off, why, the snoring was hardly going to be a factor.”

 

“I _am_ glad you got to see me play. Even got to see me and Deathbed — Deathbed and the _Champions_ , not Deathbed and the Affordable Accommodations — cover my favorite old Unwritten Law song. Ahh, that was a good night. Hometown sounds. It’s like, it was a second chance for you to get to see that part of my life…” Newt said wistfully.

 

“Yes, I was always with you, Newton.”

 

* * *

 

Newt had been subjected to a barrage of medical tests after he told Hermann that he felt the Precursors’ grip on him was loosening, and had true hope that he’d soon be free of them. He’d been shuttled back and forth between the holding room and the medical bay after that, and meanwhile, the battle in his mind appeared to be taking a toll on his body, as well. Newt had lost his appetite, and was no longer sleeping well.

 

Newt groaned and rolled over in his bed. “Man, these last few days have been _hell_.” He looked up at Hermann, and added in a murmur, "Herc Hansen came to see me today." 

 

"Yes, I know." 

 

"He said he'd forgotten how annoying I was. Then he said 'Funny the way an old man forgets these kinds of things sometimes.' Heh." 

 

Nate then walked into the medical bay with Jake, and blanched at the sight of Newt’s exhausted figure and the pale color of his face. “You know, I never did say sorry for punching you.”

 

“Wait, who are you again?” came a small voice from Newt, who was now face-down on the bed. 

 

Nate stared at him. “Nate? Nate Lambert? I’ve been here this whole time?” He looked over at Hermann quizzically. “Is he…?”

 

“No, he’s fine. I truly don’t think you ever introduced yourself to him this entire time, though, Ranger.”

 

Newt had to ask. “Do you guys think all of this is really going to actually work?”

 

Amari Namani, who, along with several other pilots, had been stopping by frequently ever since Newt became more responsive to his visitors, gestured towards Hermann. “Well, _he_ has us all convinced.”

 

Newt then engaged in a little more light conversation with his visitors before most of them trickled out, leaving behind only Rangers Pentecost and Lambert, and Acting Marshal Hermann Gottlieb. Jake and Nate began arguing in furtive whispers about some kind of dessert, and Newt whined.

 

“I’m tired, you guys. I have a headache the size of Godzilla. Pipe down.”

 

“Oh. Sorry,” Jake said.

 

“Yeah, sorry. And I really am sorry about the face, Dr. Geiszler,” Nate added.

 

“Whatever. Hey, Stacker’s kid, and Nate, whatever your name is, don't listen for a second, or just like, cover your ears or something.”

 

The two rangers were taken aback, but complied.

 

“Hermann?”

 

“Yes, my dear?” Hermann said, with a look of amusement on his face.

 

“They mean well, huh?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Okay, but they keep talking about ice cream but won’t give me any.”

 

“You haven’t even been able to keep any food down for several days, you poor thing. They're just doing as I ask.”

 

Hermann signaled to Jake and Nate, waving his hand to indicate that they should put their hands down. “He’s just hungry.”

 

"I am. I'm  _sick_ of this liquid diet," Newt mumbled unhappily. "Hermann, can't you at least get me some —" 

 

"Well, we'd better get going!" Jake announced, leading Nate out the door. He added to Hermann in a loud whisper, "I would have liked to stay for the tantrum, but I figured it wouldn't be polite." 

 

"Hey!" bristled Newt with mock anger. Suddenly, without warning, Newt's voice twisted into the dark and taunting tones that the Precursors used to assert their presence within him, and the voice growled obscenities about the weakness and fragility of human bodies. 

 

Hermann remained calm. "Be strong, Newt. You're different. You're not them. You're  _you_. You're strong." 

 

The two rangers both had startled expressions on their faces. "I thought it was getting better after they took that brain out and dissected it..." Jake began to say. It was true; the voices had stopped after that, until now. Hermann ventured to hope that this was a sign of the Precursors' frustration at a losing battle, despite the flare of anger he felt at the mention of the brain. Although Newt had suffered a great deal of emotional pain at the "death" several weeks ago of the brain he'd named Alice, he'd also been showing some signs of recovery after the initial loss. There had come good days and bad days after the dissection was performed, and today simply seemed to be the latter. 

 

Hermann, who hadn't been able to bear working on that particular project himself, said bitterly, "I thought I instructed you and the science team to push that brain off a cliff."

 

Nate said with a helpless shrug, "We couldn't find one high enough." 

 

* * *

  

“Do you remember that you once held Purkinje up as an example of how fortune favors the brave, Newton?” Hermann said conversationally.

 

“Dude was awesome,” Newt said, closing and resting his eyes as he leaned back into his hospital bed. He’d had a long day, and was enjoying the relative comfort of the medical bay as compared to the holding room.

 

The doctor had left just moments before, after breaking the news to Hermann that Newt’s brain scans showed brain activity similar to Jake’s and Nate’s when _not_ actively drifting. Jaeger pilots often showed residual neural activity representing what people referred to as “ghost drifting,” but the huge surge of neural activity indicative of an active drift connection wasn’t shown in Jake’s and Nate’s “at rest” brain scans. The day had finally come that the same was reflected in Newt’s.

 

Though Newt claimed that the presence in his head was gone, no one was taking any chances until the brain imaging was complete. The visual confirmation was worth a celebration, but for now, Newt was too tired. 

 

Hermann knew he ought to let Newt rest, but selfishly, wanted a few more moments alone with the man he was in love with, _without_ a hive mind there as an audience, especially now that everyone else had departed for the day. ("We'll let you two have some privacy, you  _really good friends_ , you," Jake had said with a wink. "Dial it _down_ , Stacker's kid. Hermann looks like he'd be sending you sailing out the window if Nate, whatever your name dude, wasn't dragging you out the door right now," Newt had warned in response.)

 

It was finally quiet. Hermann cleared his throat to prompt Newt to reopen his eyes.

 

“I saved this, Newton.” Hermann reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a crumpled envelope. “Before you started having your mail forwarded, you got a batch that you asked me to hang on to, because you would be returning for a visit and you said you’d pick up the rest of your things. And, I don’t know, somehow things just got lost, you never came, we met outside of the Shatterdome for coffee and all that, but… yes, things get lost, and you never got this, Newton.”

 

Hermann held the envelope out to Newt, which was almost covered in stamps, and only had the words “Newton Geiszler, Hong Kong Shatterdome” written on it.

 

Newt took it wordlessly, and began to open it.

 

“I think it’s just a fan letter, Newton, but…”

 

“Yeah,” Newt said, as he scanned the first few lines of the letter. “Looks like it.”

 

“You know, at the height of his fame, Jan Purkinje was so renowned that people simply wrote ‘Purkyně, Europe’ onto envelopes, and it would reach him.”

 

“Yeah, that sounds familiar. I think I heard something like that about him,” Newt said in an almost absent-minded tone as he continued reading the rest of the letter. Then, he flipped the envelope over on top of the letter and regarded it carefully.

 

“Well, Newton, it found its way to your K-Science station at the Shatterdome. I guess you’d made it. I’m sorry I never gave this to you sooner.” Hermann shrugged, and then grumbled. “I mean, I have no idea why this person couldn’t have just _looked up_ the mailing address of the Shatterdome, but…”

 

Newt finally glanced away from the letter and met Hermann’s eyes. When he didn’t say anything, Hermann sighed and said, “Newton, I... never meant to belittle the way that your ambition drove you. You wanted the recognition… to be a rock star,” he added with a small laugh, “and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. People were right to call you a hero after what you did for closing the breach.”

 

“I shouldn’t have made you worry so much about me, Herms.”

  
“Oh, shut up. You _loved_ making me worry. Whether it was not getting enough sleep or explicitly telling me it would be _my fault_ if you died while experimentally drifting with a kaiju brain —”

 

“Hermann, God, no, I’m so sorry I ever said — wait, you heard that?!”

 

“Did you know that I actually listened to that whole thing later?”

 

“You _did?!_ ”

 

“Of course I did, Newton. You’d written ‘For Hermann’ on the recording, which was in terribly poor taste, by the way.” Hermann’s scowl faded, and the expression on his face became pained. “And… you know… this whole time… this whole time that I’ve been trying to get through to you, the _real_ you… wondering if I’d _ever_ speak to the real you again, wondering if I’d see you again or if you’d just been lost to me forever… I just could not help but wonder if this was some sort of karmic retaliation for not having believed in you enough, back then. If I had only supported you more… perhaps...” Hermann’s voice caught in his throat as he reached out for Newt’s hand and continued on, “And, well, when I think about the way that you said that if _you died_ , it would have been my fault —”

 

“God, I was such a _dick_ to you, before!” Newt said with a burst of laughter, his face finally coming alive.

 

“Not on the podcast, we somehow tended to be fairly civil there. We held it together for the kids. Our listeners.”

 

Newt looked off into the distance, seeming not to hear what Hermann said, and went on, “Like, _all_ the time, dude… every chance I got.” He laughed to himself again.

 

Hermann just smiled and squeezed Newt’s hand a little harder.

 

Then, showing that he _had_ been listening to Hermann, Newt said, “You know, Hermann… Karmic Retaliation…”

 

“I would let you name our jaeger whatever you wanted.”

 

Newt laughed warmly, and so did Hermann, before taking a more solemn expression. “I wanted to say…” Hermann began, when Newt reached up with his other hand to pull Hermann’s face down to his own.

 

“I mean, since we don’t have a bunch of creepy, voyeur, jerk aliens in my head anymore,” Newt said, almost apologetically, before kissing Hermann.

 

Hermann found that he wasn’t surprised by this at all, and he kissed Newt back. He breathed deeply with relief. The kiss felt _earned._

 

Newt could feel Hermann’s heart pounding as Hermann leaned over him, and broke away long enough to say, “Thank you for saving me.”

 

Hermann gave a soft laugh. “I’d do it again if I had to.”

 

“You would?”

 

“Well, I’d have to check my social calendar,” Hermann said sarcastically.

 

Newt grinned and said, "And thanks for playing all my favorite tunes." 

 

"It was all a horrible racket to me."

 

"There you go, crabbing again."  

 

Hermann let go of Newt’s hand, straightened up in his chair beside the bed, and said, “There _is_ actually something more serious that I wanted to talk to you about, Newton.”

 

Newt looked worried. “Uh oh. What’s that, Herms?”

 

“You know, all that wild self-experimentation that Jan Purkinje did…”

 

“Wait, we’re still talking about this guy?”

 

“Yes, because, you know he stopped, don’t you? After nearly destroying his heart and vision with digitalis, taking all _manner_ of emetics, and on, and on, until one day, he stopped. He still studied science, but he stopped putting his body through all that stress. Just like that. Because he got married. _Out of respect to his family_.”

 

Newt dropped his gaze. “Oh.”

 

Hermann took Newt’s hand into his once more and, as the stern look on his face faded into a softer expression, said gently, “I need you to start taking care of yourself. I don’t want you to stop being you, I just want you to stop making me _worry_ so much.”

 

Newt smiled and conceded quietly, “Okay, Hermann.” 

 

Hermann accepted this. Newt still had much to heal from, and Hermann knew that even years from now, he'd probably catch Newt out of the corner of his eye looking pale and haunted, and Hermann would know that Newt was remembering some past trauma or horrible thing that he'd done while under the control of the Precursors. Perhaps one day the two of them would even get used to that, but for now... 

 

With deep affection Hermann grasped Newt's face in both of his hands, and Newt's eyes crinkled as he smiled up at the man who saved him. It was a start.

 

Newt said in a low whisper, "It's stuff like that time that we nabbed the wrong dog... that time you helped me bring my new kaiju samples in from the rain, and then in an elevator we met the guy who'd help save the world... that time you told me you'd drift with me... it's that stuff, man. It's that stuff that reminds me... I never want to be without you." He drew a deep breath as if to gather his strength. "I want you in my life for a long, long time. I want you in my life _forever_. So... okay, Hermann. I'm going to stick around, okay? I won't do things like scarf down, like, fifteen kinds of emetics, or — or drift with —"

 

Newt faltered over the words, but Hermann nodded with appreciation, assuring him that he didn't need to say any more. "Thank you, Newt." He patted Newt's hand as an echo of the "handshake" they'd shared before their drift.

 

"Plus, _you_ need _me_ , too. If it wasn't for me, who else would be here to make fun of your grandpa clothes?" 

 

"Everybody." 

 

"Oh,  _Hermann!_ Don't say  _that!_ " Newt squawked, and Hermann had to laugh at the horrified expression on Newt's face. 

 

Hermann added, "I think I’m ready to step down and give up my position as marshal. You and I can —”

 

“Why?! You earned this, Hermann. You — you were amazing. And even the Right People saw that, and made you marshal.”

 

“Oh, it was only a  _provisional_ status, Newton, you knew that. And I rather think I’ve done my duty. I shall always be there to step up if needed — perhaps I’ll even designate myself designated survivor of whoever next becomes marshal, like last time.”

 

Newt snorted. “Can you even do that? Are you even allowed? I don't think Kiefer designated _himself_.”

 

”Watch me,” Hermann replied with a defiant grin. He then grew more serious and continued, “But, as I said, I do think I’ve done my part. And now, you and I can go back to the lab. It’s where we ought to be. I’ll look after you.”

 

Newt laughed softly and said simply, “Okay. Sure.”

 

A sudden wave of sadness washed over Hermann as he realized that the old Newt, the Newt he’d known for decades, would have scoffed. Old Newt probably wouldn’t have stood for being “looked after,” and likely would have said “Shut up, Hermann,” which was his go-to phrase for when he knew he’d lost an argument or had nothing left to say, but wasn’t willing to quit being so belligerent yet.

 

But ultimately, none of that mattered. It was still _Newt_. He was still the man Hermann loved. Hermann had Newt back now, however damaged he might be, and he couldn’t afford to stop being strong for them now. Not now. So he leaned on his cane, stood up, and said, “Well, be good, Newton. You know they want to observe you overnight, so, I’ll see you tomorrow, and then I’ll take you home. Goodnight.”

 

As Hermann clicked off the light and closed the door behind him, there was a small yawn and he heard Newt saying, “Shut up, Hermann. Don’t tell me to be good.”

 

* * *

 

**_“SPECIAL REVIVAL EPISODE: HOW A BUNCH OF LITTLE BREACHES WERE WON!”_ **

 

 **NEWT:** “Oh my god, we’re back!”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Hello, everyone! I’m Hermann Gottlieb. With me as always is Newton W. ‘Newt’ Geiszler, and even Tendo Choi is back in the booth to press that old ‘record’ button and produce a _very_ special episode of ‘K-Science You Should Know.’”

 

 **NEWT:** “WE CLOSED A BUNCH OF LITTLE BREACHES!”

 

 **HERMANN:** [laughs] “Well, all of you out there listening know that, already. That was many months ago, but… we _have_ left you all hanging.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Oh, I _missed_ you, recording booth! HAH! _What_ _year_ is it?!” [screeches]

 

 **HERMANN:** “It truly has been too long, Newton. Oh, and to our listeners out there, yes, it’s true: we are recording together in the booth again.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Before we jump into everything, should we extend a heartfelt thank you to everyone who emailed after our podcast ended? We really appreciate all the kind words, guys. Oh, and all the angry letters, too.” [laughs] “We’re sorry. But we’re back now!”

 

 **HERMANN:** “You know, we also received a rather large number of emails asking if we’d shut down the podcast so we could go off and enjoy married life together.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Oh, God.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “You mean it’s so outrageous for them to have asked that?”

 

 **NEWT:** “Weren't there _way_ more messages from people furious that they never found out what the 'W' stands for in Newton W. 'Newt' Geiszler?”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Um...  _no_. The messages from people who thought we got married far outnumbered the —”

  ****

**NEWT:** “Okay, well, why didn't we just set up a registry, then?"

 

 **HERMANN:** “Because we  _didn't_ get married back then, so that is practically fraud, you deranged —”

 

 **NEWT:** “Oh, 'back then'?! Oh, _good one_ , Hermann,  _nice_ slip-up. Let the wild listener speculation begin. Don't say I didn't warn you about the  _flood of emails_. Here they come again.”

 

 **HERMANN:** [scoffs] “We can always distract them by revealing what the 'W' stands for.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Shut up, Hermann.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “You shut up.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Shouldn’t we, you know, get to the topic of the day?! WE CLOSED A BUNCH OF LITTLE BREACHES!” [laughs wildly] “I mean, actually, it was _Liwen Shao_ who closed a bunch of little breaches. But that’s only part of the story, and we’re going to get to that part. We’re going to be spending this extra-long episode of KSYSK talking about _all_ the science that went into humanity’s second effort to canceling an apocalypse. And you know what, folks? Hermann here, my ol’ podcast partner, my very own favorite person in the world and the man that I’m in love with, is basically the only person to have actively participated in the canceling of _two_ apocalypses.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Oh, Newt, stop that, now. It was a group effort.”  

 

 **NEWT:** “Group effort yes, but I nominate Hermann Gottlieb for MVP. Come on, folks. Let’s get an MVP chant started here. MVP! MVP! Hey, maybe Tendo will edit in an MVP chant from like, an old Lakers game or something.”

 

[silence]

 

 **HERMANN:** “I guess we’ll find out later when we edit the podcast, Newt.” [laughs] “Shall we get started, already? We have a lot of ground to cover.”

 

 **NEWT:** “I think we should start with... the ridiculous, explosive properties of kaiju blood, and the hero who discovered this.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “You’re making me blush. And you’re overexcited. You didn’t even tell our listeners what you’re wearing today.”

 

 **NEWT:** “Oh, right. I’m wearing my super fancy floral vest —”

 

 **HERMANN:** “Terribly louche.”

 

 **NEWT:** “— and my Bad Religion shirt under it. Hermann has a sweater vest and it is plaid, and ugly, and I love it.”

 

 **HERMANN:** “So yes, it’s business as usual, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> [What Newt wanted Tendo to edit in.](http://www.soundboard.com/sb/sound/469564)
> 
> **Things specifically written by pikalex88:** "It’s ‘fortune favors the brave,’ not ‘fortune favors the early riser,’ Hermann. Get off my case," and "You simply need to be you. You don’t need to pit your will up against that hive mind… you need to reject it altogether," the Ceramander attack resulting in a broken arm, and extra cakes for Newt. Twelve cakes. That's so much.
> 
>  **Contributed by unfamiliargroundsquirrel:** "Speculations About Kaiju Intelligence," and things about creepy voyeur jerk aliens
> 
> Wrong dog was written as an homage to a book as a gift/tribute to a dear friend.
> 
> Lastly, the "W" stands for Wayne.


End file.
